


Maybe I'll See You Again

by JackSpade



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Angst, Aromantic, BPD, Depression, Fake AH Crew, Im feeling real sad tonight i apologize for this, Kinda it's mentioned, Loosely based off my own life, Pedophilia TW, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicide, Trans Male Character, mentioned rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-20 09:42:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8244733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackSpade/pseuds/JackSpade
Summary: "I'm sorry."





	

**Author's Note:**

> If there are mistakes it's because I wrote this in like ten minutes while crying whoops

Time always seemed to slow when Geoff got like this. He was looking from the outside in, the world suddenly stopped spinning and he was left floating in an infinite amount of time with only his thoughts.

And his thoughts were mean.

He thought about being a five year old, tied with his cousins belt and used like he was a toy and not a human, screaming and crying and begging him to stop.

He remembered his first best friend when he was eight, and whenever she talked about crushes he would pick a random boy just so he didn't seem like an outcast.

He remembered laying down on the floor just in case any strays flew through his house as a gunfight went on outside.

He remembered his dad hitting his mom, and his mom hitting his dad. He remembers the fear when his dad first hit him, worried he might die.

He remembered his dad getting arrested for dealing drugs, remembered hearing his mom cry as he was given 50 years for repeat offender laws, since this was his 5th felony. He wanted to hate him. He wanted to hate him so badly. But he was his dad and he just felt empty inside.

He remembered trying to kill himself, spending weeks in a juvenile mental hospital.

He remembers feeling like things might get better, before reality caught up.

He remembered going to every rehab class he could for his mother, knowing she needed someone to show that despite the heroine someone still loved her.

He remembered when she overdosed.

He remembered when he was homeless without her, his family turning him away because he was trans. He slept on park branches and cried under the stars.

He remembered so damn much.

And the memories weren't all that plagued him. He was weighed down by all the murders he commit in his line of work, his tuxedo feeling like a million pounds.

He should be happy now, Jack loved him and he had a crew. But he couldn't be happy. Maybe it was his PTSD. Maybe it was his BPD. Maybe it was his soul, black with guilt.

He couldn't love Jack back. The sex was great, she was beautiful, she was funny and smart and loving. She was the yin to his yang. But he was broken. He couldn't feel love romantically. Could he even feel love at all?

He gave Lindsay the crew. He wrote his will to split his money equally across his crew, with a million going to his father, for him to will out to someone he cares for, seeing he would never get out of prison alive. The estate and penthouses where in Jack's name now. His sister Griffon had her own crew, but he left her all the things he had gotten from their mother's death.

His loose ends were tied. He was ready.

He wrote a note-

_Things will never ever be the same again. I hope you understand the pain I was in. I want to thank you for the times of being a friend. Sorry, I've reached the end. Maybe I'll see you again._

He picked up the pistol on his bed after setting the note on his desk far enough away to keep it from getting blood on it, put it under his jaw, and closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

He pulled the trigger.

**Author's Note:**

> The suicide note is what my suicide note was when I attempted 5 years ago. It's lyrics to the song Until Then by Prozak.
> 
> I'm sorry for the short fic of pure sadness I have been struggling with my past a lot recently and although I won't commit suicide for my friends, it sometimes is a thought. I feel like I just needed to get these thoughts out.


End file.
